Grandma Johnston

I think my mom is in San Francisco right now. (It's kind of funny to say it like that...I think the only people who actually read this blog are members of my family - and mostly Mom and my sibs. So maybe I should just say "Mom is in..." and not "my mom is in..." - Whatever!) (Plus you all know all of this so why do I say it? Well, partly because I print out my blog entries to keep in an actual physical journal and this is something that should go in there. But also because who knows, maybe someone else does occasionally read this. It could happen...)


So, my mom is in SF visiting her mother who is in the hospital. She went there to have surgery. She has been battling cancer for a few years now and each time has come off conquerer. But it appears that she might not win this battle. She has several new tumors and when they performed the surgery, they found even more. The doctors have decided there is simply nothing else they can do. It appears that this might be the end.

You never know, she could somehow overcome this still and go on to live many more productive years. But it just doesn't seem like that's what will happen. We don't know how long to expect her to hang on. We are trying to look at our schedules to see how we can shift things around in the event that there is a funeral to attend this or next week.

I almost feel disbelief that she could actually die. Grandma is such a strong woman. No one can deny that. Whether you like her or not, she is definitely strong. She's stubborn too! She has always been determined to win. Every single time she has been threatened with serious health problems she has proclaimed she would fight and win...then she did! It seems unreal that she might not win this time. And it seems unreal that she might not be here much longer.

Grandma does things her way and it doesn't always go over well with others. But she does love her family. It is important to remember that people show love in different ways. We don't always understand it but even when we are most hurt by them, they think they are showing love. If we realize that and can remember that, then it is easier to not feel hurt and actually feel some of that love that was intended.

I do love Grandma very much. I will forever be grateful for her accepting the gospel when it came into her life and raising my mom in the church. I am grateful for all the good things she has taught us. It was Grandma who initiated our family reunions and as a result brought the extended family closer together. Grandma also tried to serve those around her. She made dinners, shared from her garden, visited with Sisters in her ward, etc. She has shared the gospel with not just her family members but with friends and even strangers.

If it is time for Grandma to go, I will find comfort in knowing that she will be reunited with her parents and my Uncle Gordon. There are other loved ones, I'm sure, but I know that these hold such a special place in her heart and she has missed them. I am grateful for the Gospel, for the Plan of Salvation, for eternal families, and for the comfort of the Holy Ghost. These things bring peace to my mind and I know that they are real and true.