Blame Ryan

I was going to post a bunch of pics from our visit in Sacramento, but Ryan took the laptop (where most of the pictures are stored) to work. Tomorrow maybe?

We had a nice visit. And even though it was kind of late, we had a pretty easy ride coming home. Ooh - Shasta Lake with patches of snow around it is absolultely GORGEOUS at sunset! I WISH I had a picture of THAT!

So it is finally here! The official Christmas season! I love, love, LOVE Christmas time! I love it so much that I had our Christmas tree and most of our decorations up before we left for California - just so it would be Christmas in my home as soon as I got home - and it is! We brought home a bunch of gifts from family so our tree is nicely stocked already.

I told Ryan that now when he started singing Jingle Bells or Deck the Halls, it will actually be appropriate. He says that he will probably start singing some other holiday's songs, like Patriotic or Easter. lol

Still Here

We are still in Sacramento but will be leaving for home tomorrow. So, still no pictures or much posts. But you get another quick update.

We've been having a fun visit with everyone. We are also pleased to announce that we're getting a sister-in-law next year! My brother, David proposed to his girlfriend, Teresa and she said "yes"! We are happy, we really like her. So it looks like we will be coming back down to California next year for the wedding. *thumbs*

(Sorry for the lack of details, check out my mom's entry if you want to read more.)

T-Day Report

I'm sorry for the lack of posting lately. We came down to Sacramento for the week and have been busy! We've had a great trip. I'll post more about it later - with pics. For now I'll just give you the quick version of yesterday's events.

We started with the "Run to Feed the Hungry" 10K. I was worried that I would get blisters since I've been having a problem with that lately. But a little mole skin and some nice Dr. Scholl's Gel inserts and I was fine. Cadi went the 5K with her grandpa, aunt, and cousins. I ran the 10K pretty much by myself. I knew the only hope I would have of beating Ryan was if his knee just gave out or something awful like that. And I was right. He beat me by 15 minutes. But that's okay, I beat my own goal by 5 minutes so I was happy.

It was a fun little 10K. The best part was all the people that stood outside their homes and on street corners and such to cheer us on. People yelled, "Thank you!" (The 10K was to raise money for the food bank here in Sacto.), "Happy Thanksgiving!", "Don't give up!", etc. There were a couple places that had music playing, one house had a live band in their yard! Some houses had water and sports drinks to pass out. (The actual event had a couple water stations but not as many as I would have liked! lol) I've decided if I ever don't run in the race but I'm down here during Thanksgiving, I am definitely setting up a water table at mile 5!

I ran a little with Sponge Bob... yeah, he beat me! lol But it was great fun. Ryan ran with a turkey and a pilgrim. Everyone had a good time. And we helped raise lots of money. All of Ryan's mom and step-father's kids were there with all of their kids - we had 19 in our group! There were 17,000 runners total.

After getting showered and making a quick on-line visit with the family back East, we headed over to have dinner with my family. We had a huge gathering with the Robarts and my sister's husband's family. We had about 50 people total. But most everyone contributed and we ended up with lots of yummy food. We had a ton of leftovers. I kept thinking that because I had just ran the 10K (okay, I didn't run the whole thing... I ran more than half of it and walked the rest, lol) I would pig out and not feel guilty. But it turned out I got so full very easily. So I didn't have nearly as much pie as I planned on, lol.

Ooh, but guess what I'm having for breakfast! lol

Well, I need to get going, we're jam packed with visiting just about every moment this week. And I should get ready to go do some more now. Will update more later. Hope your T-day was wonderful! Have a great holiday weekend!

Cadi-ism

"I'm the queen of chocolate and peanut butter."

P-Day for T-Day

Today I'm supposed to be "preparing" for our trip down to Cal for Thanksgiving. I think I'll be up for awhile. :/ I still have a couple loads of laundry to do and some cleaning. And I'd like to get most of the packing done tonight. Tomorrow I am in charge of a fireside for the youth so I know I will be busy with that most of the day tomorrow.

Today Acadia and I went to ice skating lessons again. It is fun to see her get better and better each time. We've come so far in the past month! There is going to be a Holiday Show and Cadi will be in it! She is excited! Her group will mostly do some follow the leader stuff with the simple things they know - they can't do anything fancy, but it will be fun for her.

But now it's time to get back to work...

Strike One

Early this month I realized I had posted on my blog every day. So I decided I would try to keep it up. Yesterday I fell off the wagon. :(

It was just such a hectic day. I watched my neighbor's twin two year olds while she went to a doctor appointment. Then I had institute. I also had to go to the store and that night we had mutual. Anytime I was home, I was busy trying to compile home video for the not-so-secret-so-there's-no-problem-just-saying-it-here annual Christmas video.

And today is much the same. Volunteered in Cadi's classroom (helped the girl's make pilgrim bonnets, cute) and also went to the credit union and store. The last 3 hours have been dedicated to the video and I'm guessing the rest of the day will be the same. It is always fun to go back over the year and see some of the fun stuff we did.

But dang it, now I won't get a post everyday this month. :(

Fudge!

Ryan went over to J.'s house yesterday to learn how to make the peanut butter fudge so now we have another pan of it! We've given most of it away but what is left here is so very tempting! Grrr... Darn you PB Fudge!

Crispy Canine

The dog has taken to laying right in front of the heater lately. Let me tell you, after a few minutes it gets toasty! But Simon stays put. I would say it is because of his recent shave, but he was doing that when he still had a coat too. Maybe he's just getting old and cold, lol.

I Took a Time Out

Today I went to Time Out For Women.  It is a convention for LDS women.  There were several speakers and also music by Hilary Weeks (one of my favorite LDS artists!).   Each TOFW is different - each one has a different group of authors and artists.  I was so glad to have this group here today!

I took notes: 

As I said before, Hilary Weeks was there to perform several songs.  Virginia Hinckley Pearce kind of conducted the whole convention.  She is a hoot!  I love her!!! 

She shared with us a fun little tidbit about her father, President Gordon B. Hinckley:  He exercises every day!  (For those of you who are not familiar with our beloved prophet, President Hinckley is 95 years old!)  Because lots of people had already asked her about him, she took a moment to tell us that he is doing well.  In fact, she says he is in better physical shape than he was two years ago!  She says that he "works out" to exercise videos and on his exercise bike.  He knows that his days are numbered but since his wife died (18 months ago), he has dedicated all of his life to "the work" and considers it very important that he keep himself in the very best shape he can so that he can keep doing whatever the Lord asks him to.

Emily Watts was the first speaker, she gave a talk called, "Confessions of an unbalanced woman".  I think that this was my favorite talk - which is saying alot because they were all fabulous!  She referenced a scene from the movie "Ten Commandments" where they are using a scale.  Ramuses (sp?) is putting little pebbles on one end of the scale listing all the things Moses was doing wrong.  Moses picked up a brick to represented why he was doing what he was and put it on the other end.  Sister Watts says, "I don't want balance... I want the brick!"  The small stones are all the "stuff" and the brick is the love of God. 

She told about how after asking for silver earrings for Mother's Day, her husband gave her sterling silver earrings... shaped like dinosaurs.  Because he thought the kids would get a kick out of them.  lol  The small stone - getting dinosaur earrings for a gift.  The brick - having a loving husband who provides for her and their family, loves them, wanted to get a gift, and thought of the kids too.

She talked about "reverse buts".  I love you but you are driving me crazy.  Reversed = You are driving me crazy, but I love you.  See the difference?  What you choose to focus on changes your attitude.  Focus on the positive.  We sing a hymn that says, "I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord".  We can add, "I'll see what you want me to see."

The next speaker was James Ferrell who spoke on "Nothing works but a broken heart".  He confessed that sometimes he just knows that he will never measure up.  Do we feel that way?  Can we relate?  Well, he told us a secret: No one measures up!  And the "quest" to measure up is the WRONG quest!  He told us we are all "broken".  No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.  Furthermore, there are times when our hearts (our thoughts, feelings, desires) don't work like they should.  But we don't usually realize just how broken we are.  We think we should be able to "measure up" without realizing that we never can.

It is impossible to keep all of the commandments.  Why would God give us these commandmenst, then command us to keep them, if He knew we couldn't possibly do it perfectly?  BECAUSE: If all the commandments could be kept perfectly, we would no longer need Christ and His atonement.  We are given commandments, we can't keep them all perfectly, we need to repent (we are broken) - WE NEED THE SAVIOR, we turn to Him.  Just as we all are broken and need the Savior, we need to allow others' their brokeness; mercy.

I bought his book, The Peacegiver and had him sign it for me.  I started to read it during the lunch - I am really enjoying it.  Everyone I know who has read it, loves it.  (Just a plug.)

One of the speakers I was most looking forward to was the next one: John Bytheway.  He kind of threw his speech out the window and did not talk at all about what he was planning on.  Instead he told "the rest of the story" to a talk he gave years ago about something that happpened 23 years ago called "What's in Your Backpack?"  If any of you are familiar with this talk/story, let me know and I'll tell you "the rest of the story" but otherwise, it will take too long to go into. 

He finished by talking about merits.  He admitted that he was not an Eagle Scout, he didn't have enough merits.  Got him to thinking, 'How many and what kind of merits do I need to "get to heaven"?'  So he looked it up.  There were 7 scriptures that mentioned "merits", he read every one.  Not a single one tells what merits you need.  They all say that after all we can do, it is because of the merits of the Savior that we are "saved". 

A quote he used:   “Please remember this one thing. If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right” - Howard W. Hunter

Pamela H. Hansen spoke on "Running with angels".  She has had lots of trials!  She has lost two children and some of her surviving children have health problems.  Through her trials, she turned to eating.  She was very overweight.  One day she went for a walk - for 5 minutes.  She did it again the next day, then the next. 

Pretty soon she was walking over 1/2 hour a day.  That summer she lost 50 pounds.  She decided to take a dream and turn it into a goal - she wanted to run in a marathon.  But she still needed to lose another 50 pounds and start running.  She did.  And she has participated in a couple of marathons now.  She says that there were days she didn't want to train, didn't want to eat right, didn't want to run.  But she received strength and did it anyway.  As she ran in her first marathon, she felt like her two "angel" children were there physically supporting her when she was tired.

She shared 10 things she learned from her experiences:
1. Take time to rejuvenate yourself
2. Rearrange your priorities
3. Devise a plan and hold yourself accountable
4. Replace bad habits with good ones
5. Rejoice in even small improvments
6. Record measurments and feelings - so you can see how far you've come
7. Think more positive
8. Uplifting music can be incredibly motivational
9. Express gratitude for heavenly and earthly angels - be an earthly angel, help others
10. Learn from life's lessons - Instead of "Why me?" ask "What can I learn?"

Finally, Virginia H. Pearce spoke, "Personally Speaking".  She says that she thinks people learn what the ALMOST already know.  She just turned 60 (Which her father is perplexed as to why she is always announcing it.  She said something along the lines of, "Oh, you mean like throwing a party at the Conference Center and sending it via satellite all over the world?" lol).  She says now that she is old - she is wise :) 

Things she now knows:
1. The simple things we do are the important things.  Doing the simple things with a loving, happy heart is more important than doing big things with a grudging heart.  "It is not about the destination, it is about who you are and what you do on your journey."
2. There are lots of right ways to do things.  Specifically, there are alot of right ways to be a family.  Develop a testimony and relationship with Heavenly Father and then follow Him.  Use your talents, your personality, do what works for you - always acting on the guidance of the spirit.
3. "I don't want to do it 'my way'."  - Do it the Lord's way!  He has given us everything.  The only thing we can give Him that is truly ours, is our agency.  "I want to get home.  And when I get there, I will answer for myself."

So there you have it!  I bought a bunch of stuff (many as gifts so I'm not gonna say just what) and had got lots of that "stuff" signed by the authors.  Then I had the brilliant idea to get the tote we received at the door signed by everyone! 



I think it will replace my "got meetings?" bag that I use for church - that one is worn out.
Sorry for the long post - but it was such a wonderful day, I just wanted to share it all with you!

Red, White, and Blue Day

Yesterday at Acadia's school, it was Red, White, and Blue Day to honor Veterans Day. I was working in the classroom part of the day and was able to help them with their journaling assignment where they were writing how they were wearing red, white, and blue. Later in the day they went to an assembly where a choir sang Patriotic songs. All of the children had learned and sang along with "America the Beautiful".

During the kids' recess I talked with Cadi's teacher a bit. He and his wife are both in the Army Reserves. They have a 9 month old baby girl so it is getting hard. His wife has only 1 year left and they are glad for that. He has 3 years left. Last weekend he was gone on Friday (and missed the Harvest Carnival at school) because it was his weekend to serve.

I don't know why, but it makes me feel good to think that this is Acadia's teacher. I have alot of respect for anyone who is in the service. I already liked and respected Mr. Martin as Cadi's teacher. But I respect him even more now.

I can see clearly now...

the toys are gone!

Well, not ALL of them, but the playroom has been thoroughly de-junked and it is wonderful! Both her bedroom and the playroom are clean and that doesn't happen often! (Which I know won't last forever but it still makes me feel so good right now!)

Tonight Cadi is "buying" a sleepover. It will cost her $40, but she earned it! So K. is coming over, they will stay up watching a movie and get to sleep in tomorrow - no school! I'm thinking tomorrow will be a good day for Cadi to cash in some of her other prizes too.

You know, maybe this little game will work on me! I'll have to think of some reward for de-junking my craft room, bedroom, etc. lol

Real Life Game Show

Today when Acadia gets home she is going to find herself the next contestant on "Too Many Toys!" (Come on down!!!)

We really need to weed out some of the junk in her playroom. It is a disaster since she has so much stuff! And half of it never gets played with. So today we came up with the plan to use bribery - but in a fun way.

For every 10 toys she choose to get rid of, she will earn $10 in play money. At the end of the "purging" she can use that play money to "buy" extra fun treats (like playing at Chuck E. Cheese, Renting a movie, Having a friend sleep over, et.). So the more she is willing to get rid of, the more fun stuff she can do... I think it will work!

It is pretty bad when your child has two rooms (a bedroom and a playroom) and STILL has so many toys that she can't keep them clean! In her defense - they are teeny, tiny rooms. And also in her defense, the bedroom is never as bad as the playroom. Infact, in general, toys aren't really in the bedroom much. That is supposed to be her special, quiet space.

Smurfs attack at first frost!

I often like to check out the Mt. St. Helen's live webcam. It is fun to get an up close view of it from my home. Recently it has acquired a bit of snow - it's pretty. Even when I know there is a storm and all I'll see is a grey wall, I check it out - I don't know why, I just like to look.

For the last day or two, the webcam has been blue.  Just blue.  Today I read the updates.  And this what they had posted...

"Thank you for all of your emails and phone calls wondering what has happened to the VolcanoCam image. Unfortunately, we will not get access to the Johnston Ridge Observatory until sometime today after the road is plowed out by the Washington State DOT. Only then will we be able to assess the problem more accurately. Rest assured you are not viewing a Smurf attack. " (Bold type added)

I LOVE it when people have a good sense of humor!

This morning we had our first frost! 



It looked so cold!  Well, it was pretty cold.  But when we went out to the bus stop, I was surprised that it wasn't quite as cold as I expected.  It was actually enjoyable, the sun was shining, the frost was glimmering, and the air was nice and crisp.  Plus the bus was on time so it was a pretty short wait!  (Always nice.)

Beauty and the Beast

We took Simon to the groomer this weekend.  They already had holiday bandanas, lol.  He wasn't too excited to be in this picture though.  I think he was hoping for a treat since he had been so good and looked so cute.  He was right - so we gave him one.

Why does he have to be so smart?

Earlier this week, Ryan was discussing with a friend that he sometimes carpools to work with about the size of Oregon. They did not agree on how big it was, so they made a bet. Well, Ryan won. Great, huh? Kind of...

Because he won, the co-worker had to make him fudge. And yesterday he brought it over. A huge 9x13 pan of Peanut Butter Fudge. I don't normally care for peanut butter much, but this fudge is so delicious... mmmm.

And it's addicting. This whole next week, all my workouts are going to be for the sole purpose of working off that fudge!

Ice Princess

Acadia and I stayed for free skate after our ice skating lessons today.  I stopped after about 20 minutes (My feet were killing me!) but Acadia wanted to keep skating - she skated for another 40 minutes by herself!

When we started class, she was very nervous to be on the ice, but by the time we needed to leave, she didn't want to go!  She just wanted to keep on skating.  Most of the time she was skating along the wall, but there were several times that she cut across the rink and didn't fall down at all! 

When I finally got her off the ice and changed her into her shoes, I told her how well she was doing and how proud I was of how much she was practicing.  She said, "I felt the Holy Spirit!  When I was scared on the ice I really felt the Holy Spirit and I felt better!"

Here are some pics:








Before lessons, Cadi and I went out for brunch.  We had spent all morning at the church cheering on the Young Women Volleyball team and we were both hungry!  Acadia ordered chocolate chip pancakes, lol.  Which she sure enjoyed:





I guess this is where she got all that energy from!

There are just... Moments.

I think someone should write a book called, "What to Expect When You're No Longer Expecting" for women who have had miscarriages.

Mostly we try not to think much about it, but lately it's been thrown in our face everytime we turn around - or at least every time we get the mail. I get so many mailings about baby stuff - life insurance, diapers, coupons, baby stores, etc.

The worse one was the box of formula that came last week - one day before the due date. We're gonna take it down to Jared when we see him at Thanksgiving so I try to think of THAT when I see it sitting there next to all the clothes that we're taking Esther. It doesn't always work.

I should save more of the stuff for Jared (or for any one of the many babies born in our ward in the last month or two) but usually I just throw it away without opening it. Out of sight, out of mind.

How do you get yourself off these mailing lists? I don't exactly need the constant reminder right now...
Most of the time I am okay. I am happy with my life, my family, my faith, etc. I don't doubt that my family is the way it is supposed to be right now. I don't doubt that I was not supposed to have those babies. I don't doubt the love of my Heavenly Father or husband or any other of those close to me who show me support. But there are moments...

No matter how much faith you have, no matter how much you KNOW that things are the way they should be, no matter how much peace and love you feel most of the time, no matter how much support you get from family and friends - there are moments when you realize that you will never be completely "over it".

No matter how many years go by, you will always remember the due dates and as they pass you will think of what might have been. No matter how happy you are with the family you do have, you will always have thoughts about the family you thought you were going to have.

No matter how much you know it isn't your fault, there are still moments when you actually feel guilty for the things that you can enjoy since you don't have a new baby. (Free time, fewer money concerns, smaller dress size, an extra bedroom, etc.)
No matter how happy you are to see your friends or family members having babies, when you see them or their new little one you can't help but think "What if...?" - just for a moment.

And in those moments, I get upset at myself for feeling this way.

I trust my Heavenly Father. I know I have been so blessed by Him. I could not ask for more than I have right now.

But there are just moments...

"Keep him blind to all else that moves."

Beginning late Halloween night, pumpkins began disappearing off of neighbors porches and were found smashed in the streets. I don't really understand why this is such a popular prank amongst kids in our neighborhood. We were fortunate that our jack-o-lanterns escaped injury.

Last night however, as I was leaving for mutual, I noticed that one of our pumpkins was no longer in it's proper place. This did not surprise me, it had been two days and I was glad they had lasted that long! What did surprise me (somewhat) was that both pumpkins had not been taken and the pumpkin left - was the "One Ring"! lol I smiled to myself knowing that the "One Ring" "ruled them all" and even the neighborhood punks recognized this!
Unfortunately, when I returned home from mutual, I found that while I was away the "One Ring" had been cast into "Mt. Doom" afterall. Tricksy hobbits! I knew I should have kept my "eye" on it!