I Will Go and Do

This week, our FHE lesson and scripture to "ponderize" will be 1 NE 3:7.

I have to admit, I have completely copied our lesson from a blogger online.  It was just perfect for what I was looking for.  Why reinvent the wheel, ya know?  So instead of retyping it here, and not giving them the credit they deserve, here is the link where you can find the outline yourself. :)

Family Home Evening in a Snap: I Will Go and Do

This is My Work and My Glory

This weekend was General Conference.  If you are not familiar with it, you should click here.  It happens twice a year and I love it!

One of the many wonderful and inspiring talks given this weekend, was that of Elder Devin Durrant who counseled us to 1) save some money each week, and 2) study a scripture each week.

In an effort to help my family follow the counsel to "ponderize" a scripture each week, I am planning to base our Family Home Evening lessons on a new scripture for us to study that week.  I'm starting with the Scripture Mastery scriptures... that will last us a couple of years. ;)

I'll share our scripture/FHE lessons here:

This lesson is taken mostly from a Conference talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard in 2013 called “This Is My Work and Glory”.

Share the following story in your own words:

I am reminded of a sweet seven-year-old showing her grandfather a small tomato plant she had started from seed as part of a second-grade school project.

She explained that from one tiny seed would come a plant. And if the plant were cared for, it would grow many tomatoes that would each have many seeds.

She said, “And if all of those seeds were planted and grew more tomatoes, and you planted all of those seeds, in a few seasons you would have millions of tomatoes.”

“All,” she said in amazement, “from one little seed.”

But then she said, “I almost killed my plant. I left it in a dark room and forgot to water it. When I remembered the plant, it was all wilted and dead looking. I cried because I thought of all of those millions of tomatoes that would never grow.”

She was then excited to tell her grandfather about the “miracle” that happened.

She explained, “Momma said maybe the plant wasn’t dead. Maybe all it needed was some water and some light to bring life back.

“And she was right. I gave the plant some water, and I put it in the window for light. And guess what?” she asked. “It came back to life, and now it’s going to grow millions of tomatoes!”

Her small tomato plant, so full of potential but so weakened and wilted from unintentional neglect, was strengthened and revived through the simple ministration of water and light by the little girl’s loving and caring hands.

Introduce this week's scripture to study: Moses 1:39

Ask the following questions:

• Who is speaking?
• What does it mean when God says this is “my work and my glory”?
• What is the difference between “immortality” and “eternal life”?
• What is “immortality”?
• What is “eternal life”?

Ask someone to read John 17:3. Eternal life is to know God & Jesus Christ.

Elder Ballard said, “Brothers and sisters, as the literal spirit children of our loving Heavenly Father, we have unlimited, divine potential. But if we are not careful, we can become like the wilted tomato plant. We can drift away from the true doctrine and gospel of Christ and become spiritually undernourished and wilted, having removed ourselves from the divine light and living waters of the Savior’s eternal love and priesthood power.”

Jesus said:

“If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink” (John 7:37).

“Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life” (John 4:14).

“I am the light of the world: he that followeth me … shall have the light of life” (John 8:12).

If we feel that our faith or testimony is not as strong and healthy as it should be, then we need to turn back to the Savior's “light” and “living water”. As we care for our testimony with a little water and light each day, it will bring life to our faith and testimony, just like it did for the weakened tomato plant.

Share your testimony and challenge family members to study Moses 1:39 each day this week. Consider what the verse means to you. Ponder how we can help to bring about God's “work and glory”. Find ways that we can turn more fully to the Savior.

More Change

Recently, I was asked to switch roles at church.  I had been teaching the adult Sunday School class, and was really enjoying it.  I loved studying for the lessons and being the Gospel Doctrine teacher had quickly become my favorite calling at church!  I knew that since I was enjoying it so much, it was bound to end soon.  But I was really hoping that end wouldn't come until the end of the year.

Well, no such luck.  And at first, I was a little sad.  But then I found out where I'd be serving instead and I got very excited.  I've been called back into the Young Women organization, working with the 12-18 year old girls.  I'm now the YW secretary, which, in my opinion, is the best YW calling!  I get to work with all of the girls, no matter which class they are in.  And I get to be involved without having to do much of the planning or preparations.  I just have to try to keep everyone organized, but I've done it before and I'm pretty sure I can do it again. :)

I'm especially excited to serve in the YW at this time, because now my daughter is one of the young women!  I know it will be a special time, being able to share these experiences with her.

Hopefully, she feels the same. ;)

"I am yours and you are mine now, through all eternity!"*

For a long time, I've wanted to get involved with my family history.  But I always seemed to have other responsibilities that were a higher priority to me at the time.  I recognized that it wasn't the right time for me yet, but that as soon as I saw the "right time" come along, I should not hesitate.  So with my youngest beginning school, that was one of the first things I focused on.

But how to begin?  I knew little about doing family history work.  I enlisted the help of my good friend who eat, breathes, and sleeps genealogy, and she was eager to help me get started.  For many weeks, she came to my home each Monday morning and guided me as I began my journey.  I am so grateful for her help and patience!  

A few months later (by this time, we were not meeting weekly anymore, as she had gotten me started and I was doing okay on my own), the youth at church had an activity where parents were invited.  At this activity, the youth (and parents) were taught how to use the new.familysearch.org site to find individuals on their family tree who were ready to have ordinances performed for them in the temple.  With a simple click, Acadia was able to reserve names to take with her during their next temple trip.  I was impressed!  Though I had been searching for family members with my friend, I hadn't gotten to the point of taking them to the temple.  This took my interest and joy of family history to a completely new level!

The following week, Ryan and I both attended with Acadia as she performed baptisms for our ancestors.  It was amazing!  Immediately, Acadia turned those names over to us, it was now our turn to continue the work.  It was exciting and almost intoxicating!  I loved being a part of it!  And I was hooked.  A hopeless addict.  :)

I spend, on average, one or two days a week working on our family history.  I love to find stories about my ancestors and share them with my family members.  I have continued to send Cadi to the temple with family names, as recently as last night!  And I have shared names with my siblings so they can help in the work - and the joy. :)  

Working on my family history has also increased my temple attendance.  I am eager to get this work done.  I look for reasons to go, always searching my calendar for another day I can squeeze a trip in.  I love it!  

It is not always easy.  I am stuck on a few names, information has been lost that I cannot seem to find... yet.  I keep looking and I won't stop.  I am learning more about who I am as I learn more about my ancestors.  I have so much more work to do, I don't know if it ever truly ends.  But I am enjoying it so much, I can't hardly call it work.  It is a joy and one of my favorite hobbies now, definitely a big part of who I am today.

*Words taken from the children's song, Family History - I am Doing It.  The words and music to this song can be found here.

Ben's Mission Call

My youngest brother turned 19 a few months ago and has been preparing to serve a full-time mission for our church.  About a week and a half ago, the call came - contained in an envelope sent to his home.

We set a time to have as many as could gather to come together.  We joined them through Skype and were excited to hear...

Elder, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  You are called to labor in the 

Korea Daejeon mission.

!!!

We are all so excited for him!!!  He will be reporting to the MTC in August and has a lot to do before then.  Including, making a very special trip to the temple to make sacred covenants and receive ordinances.  I am going down to be there with him and the rest of the family this weekend as he does this.  And I'm going to be able to bring along several family names so we can do work for our ancestors, too.  I'm very excited!

We are looking forward to supporting Ben as he serves the Lord and are so proud of him! :)

Mother's Day

I love my family!  I feel very blessed to have my wonderful husband and two delightful girls.  Mother's Day is always a joy for me.  I have few expectations.  I don't care about what I get - in fact, I usually prefer that they don't spend money on me at all.  I just love getting a day of them serving me. lol

From the moment I get up, I'm being told to stay in bed while they bring me breakfast.  And with breakfast, they always bring in homemade cards and gifts and I love it!  I especially love that as the girls get older, these cards and gifts are completely from them, their words, their ideas, their creativity.  Ryan did give me some fudge this year, with this cute little note:

Your love for me and the children is like fudge.  Sometimes soft, sometimes hard, but always sweet (and a little nutty).

LOL  I loved it!

I really enjoyed the talks in church about motherhood.  I especially appreciated the thoughts that motherhood is not just bearing children; that all can mother.  There are many who love and nurture those around them and they should be honored, too.  And I am reminded that I am not to mother only my children, but others as well.  I am grateful for all who help to mother my kids.  It is comforting to know that there are others who care and are interested in them and in helping them to be happy, healthy, safe, and successful.

After church, Ryan went to visit an older sister in our ward (that he Home Teaches) who has been in the hospital with some painful health problems.  He was concerned about her spending Mother's Day alone in a hospital room.  Initially we were all going to go with him, but it worked out better for him to take along his companion so they could administer to her while the girls and I phoned the moms/grandmas and prepared to spend the evening at my aunt's house.  I was touched that he was careful to take her some chocolate and a flower.  He is so thoughtful that way. :)  And, he was also careful to be back in time for dinner with family. :)

Our evening at my aunt's house was fun, as always!  We surprised her - she didn't know we would be coming over!  But her kids had asked us to and they prepared the house and food for company.  It was a good surprise, she loved it! :)  

I forgot my camera, but I stole some of the pics from Sami's camera:

And watch this funny video that Matthew took:

LOL... we always have fun with them!  I just wish I had thought to tell Sami to take a picture of her mom and I.  And one of me and my girls.  :S   Well, that's what I get for taking my little camera break.  ;)

I am grateful for my mother.  I am grateful for the example she has always been to me throughout my life.  And I'm grateful for the lessons that I continue to learn from her - whether it is me reflecting back on things she taught while I was younger, or things I learn from her now.  I hope she knows how much she is loved and valued by her children. :)

I am especially grateful to be a mother.  It is not an easy job and I sometimes get very tired of the mundane tasks and responsibilities, but I love my girls and I love that I get to be the one who raises them.  I love that they want ME.  They are so good to me.  It makes me want to be a better mom for them.  I love them so much!  

His Grace is Sufficient

I LOVE this talk!!!  It is one of the best illustrations of how grace works and how the Atonement works - and how they work together - that I've ever read.  I love it so much that I shared it on FB yesterday AND today.  I love it so much that I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes from it on here, but I found that I was wanting to quote the whole thing!  lol  So, I decided to just go ahead and post the whole thing. :)

*Update*  I have found the video of this talk online.  It is probably a little quicker to read the talk, so if you would rather do that, I'm leaving the written version below.  But it is very interesting to hear (and see) where Brad places emphasis on his words in the video/audio, so if you have a little more time, here it is.

His Grace is Sufficient by Brad Wilcox

Several years ago I received an invitation to speak at Women’s Conference. When I told my wife, she asked, “What have they asked you to speak on?” I was so excited that I got my words mixed up and said, “They want me to speak about changing strengths into weaknesses.”

She thought for a minute and said, “Well, they’ve got the right man for the job!”

She’s correct about that. I could give a whale of a talk on that subject, but I think today I had better go back to the original topic and speak about changing weaknesses into strengths and about how the grace of Jesus Christ is sufficient (see Ether 12:27, D&C 17:8, 2 Cor. 12:9)—sufficient to cover us, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us as long as that transformation process takes.

Sufficient to Cover Us

A BYU student once came to me and asked if we could talk. I said, “Of course. How can I help you?”

She said, “I just don’t get grace.”

I responded, “What is it that you don’t understand?”

She said, “I know I need to ‘do my best and then Jesus does the rest,’ but I can’t even do my best.”

She then went on to tell me all the things she should be doing—“because she’s a Mormon”—that she wasn’t doing.

She continued, “I know that I have to do my part and then Jesus makes up the difference and fills the gap that stands between my part and perfection. But who fills the gap that stands between where I am now and my part?”

She then went on to tell me all the things that she shouldn’t be doing—“because she’s a Mormon”—but that she was doing anyway.

Finally I said, “Jesus doesn’t make up the difference. Jesus makes all the difference. Grace is not about filling gaps. It is about filling us.”

Seeing that she was still confused, I took a piece of paper and drew two dots—one at the top representing God and one at the bottom representing us. I then said, “Go ahead. Draw the line. How much is our part? How much is Christ’s part?”

She went right to the center of the page and began to draw a line. Then, considering what we had been speaking about, she went to the bottom of the page and drew a line just above the bottom dot.

I said, “Wrong.”

“I knew it was higher,” she said. “I should have just drawn it, because I knew it.”

I said, “No. The truth is, there is no line. Jesus filled the whole space. He paid our debt in full. He didn’t pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished.”

She said, “Right—like I don’t have to do anything?”

“Oh no,” I said, “you have plenty to do, but it is not to fill that gap. We will all be resurrected. We will all go back to God’s presence. What is left to be determined by our obedience is what kind of body we plan on being resurrected with and how comfortable we plan to be in God’s presence and how long we plan to stay there.”

Christ asks us to show faith in Him, repent, make and keep covenants, receive the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. By complying, we are not paying the demands of justice—not even the smallest part. Instead, we are showing appreciation for what Jesus Christ did by using it to live a life like His. Justice requires immediate perfection or a punishment when we fall short. Because Jesus took that punishment, He can offer us the chance for ultimate perfection (see Matt. 5:48, 3 Ne. 12:48) and help us reach that goal. He can forgive what justice never could, and He can turn to us now with His own set of requirements (see 3 Ne. 28:35).

“So what’s the difference?” the girl asked. “Whether our efforts are required by justice or by Jesus, they are still required.”

“True,” I said, “but they are required for a different purpose. Fulfilling Christ’s requirements is like paying a mortgage instead of rent or like making deposits in a savings account instead of paying off debt. You still have to hand it over every month, but it is for a totally different reason.”

Sufficient to Transform Us

Christ’s arrangement with us is similar to a mom providing music lessons for her child. Mom pays the piano teacher. Because Mom pays the debt in full, she can turn to her child and ask for something. What is it? Practice! Does the child’s practice pay the piano teacher? No. Does the child’s practice repay Mom for paying the piano teacher? No. Practicing is how the child shows appreciation for Mom’s incredible gift. It is how he takes advantage of the amazing opportunity Mom is giving him to live his life at a higher level. Mom’s joy is found not in getting repaid but in seeing her gift used—seeing her child improve. And so she continues to call for practice, practice, practice.

If the child sees Mom’s requirement of practice as being too overbearing (“Gosh, Mom, why do I need to practice? None of the other kids have to practice! I’m just going to be a professional baseball player anyway!”), perhaps it is because he doesn’t yet see with Mom’s eyes. He doesn’t see how much better his life could be if he would choose to live on a higher plane.

In the same way, because Jesus has paid justice, He can now turn to us and say, “Follow me” (Matt. 4:19), “keep my commandments” (John 14:15). If we see His requirements as being way too much to ask (“Gosh! None of the other Christians have to pay tithing! None of the other Christians have to go on missions, serve in callings, and do temple work!”), maybe it is because we do not yet see through Christ’s eyes. We have not yet comprehended what He is trying to make of us.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen (BA ’66) has written, “The great Mediator asks for our repentance not because we must ‘repay’ him in exchange for his paying our debt to justice, but because repentance initiates a developmental process that, with the Savior’s help, leads us along the path to a saintly character” (The Broken Heart [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1989], p. 149; emphasis in original).

Elder Dallin H. Oaks (BS ’54) has said, referring to President Spencer W. Kimball’s explanation, “The repenting sinner must suffer for his sins, but this suffering has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose ischange” (The Lord’s Way [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991], p. 223; emphasis in original). Let’s put this in terms of our analogy: The child must practice the piano, but this practice has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change.

I have born-again Christian friends who say to me, “You Mormons are trying toearn your way to heaven.”

I say, “No, we are not earning heaven. We are learning heaven. We are preparing for it (see D&C 78:7). We are practicing for it.”

They ask me, “Have you been saved by grace?”

I answer, “Yes. Absolutely, totally, completely, thankfully—yes!”

Then I ask them a question that perhaps they have not fully considered: “Have you been changed by grace?” They are so excited about being saved that maybe they are not thinking enough about what comes next. They are so happy the debt is paid that they may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for. As my friend Brett C. Sanders (BS ’00) puts it, “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life.” As my friend Omar Canals shared with me, “While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us, Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.” As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior (see Moro. 7:48).

The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly (see John 10:10). The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed (see Rom. 8). Scriptures make it clear that no unclean thing can dwell with God (see Alma 40:26), but no unchanged thing will even want to.

I know a young man who just got out of prison—again. Each time two roads diverge in a yellow wood, he takes the wrong one—every time. When he was a teenager dealing with every bad habit a teenage boy can have, I said to his father, “We need to get him to EFY.” I have worked with Especially for Youth since 1985. I know the good it can do.

His dad said, “I can’t afford that.”

I said, “I can’t afford it either, but you put some in, and I’ll put some in, and then we’ll go to my mom, because she is a real softy.”

We finally got the kid to EFY, but how long do you think he lasted? Not even a day. By the end of the first day he called his mother and said, “Get me out of here!”

Heaven will not be heaven for those who have not chosen to be heavenly.

In the past I had a picture in my mind of what the final judgment would be like, and it went something like this: Jesus standing there with a clipboard and Brad standing on the other side of the room nervously looking at Jesus.

Jesus checks His clipboard and says, “Oh, shoot, Brad. You missed it by two points.”

Brad begs Jesus, “Please, check the essay question one more time! There have to be two points you can squeeze out of that essay.” That’s how I always saw it.

But the older I get, and the more I understand this wonderful plan ofredemption, the more I realize that in the final judgment it will not be the unrepentant sinner begging Jesus, “Let me stay.” No, he will probably be saying, “Get me out of here!” Knowing Christ’s character, I believe that if anyone were to beg on that occasion, it would probably be Jesus begging the unrepentant sinner, “Please, choose to stay. Please, use my Atonement—not just to be cleansed but to be changed so that you want to stay.”

The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—amazingly—we can feel at home there. If Christ did not require faith andrepentance, then there would be no desire to change. Think of your friends and family members who have chosen to live without faith and without repentance. They don’t want to change. They are not trying to abandon sin and become comfortable with God. Rather, they are trying to abandon God and become comfortable with sin. If Jesus did not require covenants and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, then there would be no way to change. We would be left forever with only willpower, with no access to His power. If Jesus did not require endurance to the end, then there would be no internalization of those changes over time. They would forever be surface and cosmetic rather than sinking inside us and becoming part of us—part of who we are. To return to our metaphor, if practice were not required, then we would never become pianists.

Sufficient to Help Us

“But Brother Wilcox, don’t you realize how hard it is to practice? I’m just not very good at the piano. I hit a lot of wrong notes. It takes me forever to get it right.” Now wait. Isn’t that all part of the learning process? When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don’t say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don’t expect him to be flawless. We just expect him to keep trying. Perfection may be his ultimate goal, but for now we can be content with movement in the right direction. Why is this perspective so easy to see in the context of learning piano but so hard to see in the context of learning heaven?

Too many are giving up on the Church because they are tired of constantly feeling like they are falling short. They have tried in the past, but they always feel like they are just not good enough. They don’t understand grace.

There are young women who know they “are daughters of [a] Heavenly Father who loves [them], and [they] love Him.” Then they graduate from high school, and the values they memorized are put to the test. They slip up. They let things go too far, and suddenly they think it is all over. These young women don’t understand grace.

There are young men who grow up their whole lives singing, “I hope they call me on a mission,” and then they do actually grow a foot or two and flake out completely. They get their Eagles, graduate from high school, and go away to college. Then suddenly these young men find out how easy it is to not be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, or reverent. They mess up. They say, “I’ll never do it again,” and then they do it. They say, “I’ll never do it again,” and then they do it. They say, “This is stupid. I will never do it again,” and then they do it. The guilt is almost unbearable. They don’t dare talk to a bishop. Instead, they hide. They say, “I can’t do this Mormon thing. I’ve tried, and the expectations are just way too high.” So they quit. These young men don’t understand grace.

I know returned missionaries who come home and slip back into bad habits they thought were over. They break promises made before God, angels, and witnesses, and they are convinced there is no hope for them now. They say, “Well, I’ve blown it. There is no use in even trying anymore.” Seriously? These young people have spent entire missions teaching people about Jesus Christ and His Atonement, and now they think there is no hope for them? These returned missionaries don’t understand grace.

I know young married couples who find out after the sealing ceremony is over that marriage requires adjustments. The pressures of life mount, and stress starts taking its toll financially, spiritually, and even sexually. Mistakes are made. Walls go up. And pretty soon these husbands and wives are talking with divorce lawyers rather than talking with each other. These couples don’t understand grace.

In all of these cases there should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness (see 2 Cor. 12:9). When we understand grace, we can, as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, “continue in patience until [we] are perfected” (D&C 67:13).

One young man wrote me the following e-mail: “I know God has all power, and I know He will help me if I’m worthy, but I’m just never worthy enough to ask for His help. I want Christ’s grace, but I always find myself stuck in the same self-defeating and impossible position: no work, no grace.”

I wrote him back and testified with all my heart that Christ is not waiting at the finish line once we have done “all we can do” (2 Ne. 25:23). He is with us every step of the way.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen has written, “The Savior’s gift of grace to us is not necessarily limited in time to ‘after’ all we can do. We may receive his grace before, during, and after the time when we expend our own efforts” (The Broken Heart [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1989], p. 155). So grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel. Grace is not achieved somewhere down the road. It is received right here and right now. It is not a finishing touch; it is the Finisher’s touch (see Heb. 12:2).

The first company of Saints entered the Salt Lake Valley on July 24, 1847. Their journey was difficult and challenging; still, they sang:

Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear; But with joy wend your way. Though hard to you this journey may appear, Grace shall be as your day. [“Come, Come, Ye Saints,” Hymns, rev. ed. (Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2002), no. 30]

“Grace shall be as your day”—what an interesting phrase. We have all sung it hundreds of times, but have we stopped to consider what it means? “Grace shall be as your day”: grace shall be like a day. As dark as night may become, we can always count on the sun coming up. As dark as our trials, sins, and mistakes may appear, we can always have confidence in the grace of Jesus Christ. Do we earn a sunrise? No. Do we have to be worthy of a chance to begin again? No. We just have to accept these blessings and take advantage of them. As sure as each brand-new day, grace—the enabling power of Jesus Christ—is constant. Faithful pioneers knew they were not alone. The task ahead of them was never as great as the power behind them.

Amazing Grace

The grace of Christ is sufficient—sufficient to cover our debt, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us as long as that transformation process takes. The Book of Mormon teaches us to rely solely on “the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Ne. 2:8). As we do, we do not discover—as some Christians believe—that Christ requires nothing of us. Rather, we discover the reason He requires so much and the strength to do all He asks (see Philip. 4:13). Grace is not the absence of God’s high expectations. Grace is the presence of God’s power (see Luke 1:37).

Elder Neal A. Maxwell once said the following:

Now may I speak . . . to those buffeted by false insecurity, who, though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling forever short. . . .
. . . This feeling of inadequacy is . . . normal. There is no way the Church can honestly describe where we must yet go and what we must yet do without creating a sense of immense distance. . . . 

. . . This is a gospel of grand expectations, but God’s grace is sufficient for each of us. [“Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Ensign, November 1976, pp. 12, 14]

With Elder Maxwell, I testify that God’s grace is sufficient. Jesus’ grace is sufficient. It is enough. It is all we need. Oh, young people, don’t quit. Keep trying. Don’t look for escapes and excuses. Look for the Lord and His perfect strength. Don’t search for someone to blame. Search for someone to help you. Seek Christ, and as you do, I promise you will feel the enabling power we call His amazing grace. I leave this testimony and all of my love—for I do love you. As God is my witness, I love the youth of this church. I believe in you. I’m pulling for you. And I’m not the only one. Parents are pulling for you, leaders are pulling for you, and prophets are pulling for you. And Jesus is pulling withyou. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice

Service Project, by numbers

Unlike one of the last environmental service projects our family participated in, last month we, along with several other members of our church, spent some time planting baby trees to help and improve our community.

Here is the breakdown:

2 hours
30-40 volunteers
620 trees
About 2 donuts per person
... and zero cups of coffee.  ;)

It was a little chilly that morning, and it was a really messy job, but we all managed to have a bit of fun! :)

Peek-a-boo

I keep playing a disappearing act.  Then just when you think I'll never post again, I pop back up... and lately, only to disappear again the minute you turn your back.

Don't know why.  Busy.  But I'm always busy.  And I'm less busy now than I used to be... but then, I didn't always post very frequently then, either.

I have more photos that I need to upload and will post on.  I have a couple videos, too.

But first, I'll update on stuff that I don't have photos/videos for since that will be quicker.

• Rori took gymnastics for a little over a year but then told me she wanted to try dance classes instead.  So, this week she'll be taking her first dance class.  It is a ballet/jazz class, which I think she'll love.  She is SO EXCITED!!!  She already picked out what to wear today and wanted to sleep in it last night.  I reminded her that she still had to go to school in the morning first, so she'd have to put on school clothes when she woke up.  In the end, she decided to sleep in pjs.  Good choice.  ;)
• Ryan had been serving in our church as the ward executive secretary for a little over a year and was recently released from that calling and instead called to serve as a Sunday School teacher for the 16-17 year olds.  I think it's cool that we both use the same manual.  I team teach with someone, but on the weeks I do teach, we'll be mostly using the same material.  I'm sure we'll be able to have some good discussions as we each prepare. :)
• We recently booked our flights for a visit back East.  It has been awhile since we've been back for a visit and we are very excited to be going!  We plan to take a trip up to Acadia National Park while we're there and since we love it there so much we know it will be awesome.  We'll be able to celebrate Cadi's birthday and Father's Day in Massachusetts with Ryan's dad, and that will be really cool, too.
• The weather around here has been weird.  We had a very mild winter, too mild, actually.  Now we keep switching off from absolutely gorgeous days and totally crummy days.  I'm just waiting for it to make up it's mind so I can do some gardening.  I've got tons of bulbs coming up that I had planted last fall, so that's been fun to watch.  I need to decide what else I want to plant now and what I want in my vegetable garden this year. 

I'm hoping to upload the photos and videos soon, and when I do, I will be sure to post them!

A Day in SLC, With Friends

We usually go to Idaho for a weekend before Christmas to see our friends and have our annual Christmas party.  But this year, circumstances were unique and instead we went for a few days during the week after Christmas. 

I always get anxious about this trip.  It is long, over mountain passes, in the winter.  Our biggest car problems have occurred while we make this annual trip.  But this year, the roads were competely clear the entire way there and back!  Good for us, bad for the region.  The mountains just aren't getting enough snow this year. :S  But during our drives, I was very grateful for clear roads. ;)

I don't have very many photos of our time actually in Idaho.  We did a lot of hanging out and the kids played together.  I do have these photos from when the guys took some of the older kids back into the hills to do some shooting.  Acadia LOVED it!

But even though I don't have many pics from Idaho, I do have lots of pictures from the day we all spent down in SLC...

We began at the Joseph Smith Building and watched the new Joseph Smith movie.  Then we went to the church office building and went all the way to the top to get a bird's eye view of SLC and Temple Square.

After that, we journeyed over to the Conference Center for a tour of the building, including the roof.

We wanted to be down on Temple Square for the lights once it was dark, so we headed over and visited the North Visitor's Center first.

By the time we finished that, it was just dark enough for the lights to come on... it was beautiful!  We started right outside the visitor center where they have a huge nativity scene displayed and had the scriptures of the Savior's birth played over a speaker with beautiful music accompanying it.  Then we walked along the grounds, looking at all of the beautiful lights.  The weather was very cooperative and even though it was cool, it was not freezing and we were able to take our time to enjoy it.

Finally, our stomachs told us it was time to go.  We loaded into the cars (right after I got to have an "orchestrated chance meeting" with a very good friend that I haven't seen in a few years :D) and headed towards home, with the intent on stopping for dinner along the way.  That is what happened, but not without a little excitement.

It seems that along with our tradition of getting together every holiday season, we also need to have car drama.  I admit, I was SO GLAD it wasn't us this time!  But I felt really bad for our friends who's car's power steering completely gave out, leaving them stranded.  Stranded, but not alone.  The guys made a quick run to a store to do a quick fix right there in the parking lot, which allowed everyone to travel home in safety after dinner, then they spent the next morning giving it a more permanent fix.  If you've got to break down, they picked the right friends to break down with. ;)

Next year, we'll most likely be back to our usual routine of spending just a weekend together right before Christmas, but it was fun to try something a little different a new this time.  :)

Another "savior on Mount Zion".

Last night, Ryan and I had the special opportunity to be able to attend the temple with Acadia.  She turned 12 earlier this year and this was her first time going with the youth in our ward to perform baptisms for the dead (1 Cor 15:29, D&C 124:33). 

She has been anxiously awaiting her opportunity to go to the temple and Ryan and I both wanted to be with her when she did.  It made it even more special when Ryan was assigned to be the one perfoming the ordinance; it helped her feel more comfortable having her father with her, performing the baptisms, just like on her own baptism day.  I was assigned to be with the girls as they entered and exited the font, so I was able to stand right there and watch the whole thing. 

It was just a very, very cool experience and one I'm looking forward to having again. :)

A Month of Thanksgiving Day 13

I am thankful for the opportunity to serve.  I admit, I don't always feel this way.  Sometimes I grumble and complain a little, but I always want to want to serve, if that makes sense.  I'm just still learning how to get from wanting to want to serve to actually wanting to serve all the time.  lol

Today, we had fantastic talks in church and one in particular really made me feel like trying harder and being better.  I felt motivated, inspired, and encouraged.  I felt the desire to serve more, serve better. 

When I was released as Relief Society president earlier this year, I was given a long break.  I wasn't called to my current calling for about 3 months and by the time I was finally called, I was SO READY for a calling!  I was tired of not serving.  It didn't feel right.  It wasn't right.  I knew I could do service without a calling, but I wanted to have a calling and an assignment.  Sometimes, whether due to health or other reasons, a person just can't serve and I know it wears on them.  I have heard people plead for a way to offer service.  So, I know that being able to serve is another one of those blessings we take for granted.  It really is a blessing, something that is good for us, benefits us, and something we should be grateful for.

Today, my oldest received her first calling in the church.  She was set apart as the 1st Counselor in the Beehive presidency in YW.  I'm excited for her as she begins her life of service in the church.  I know it will sometimes be hard and tiring, but I also know it will be very rewarding and often times, very fun.  I am grateful for the opportunity that she has to serve, even at her young age.

I think I was in a Disney Coma.

Whew!  So, I think that was the bulk of our amazing trip this summer.  And as you may (or may not) have noticed, I am slow getting on with other things happening around here.  A little MIA.  But I'm trying to get back.

Let me try to catch you up a little, some of these things will hopefully generate their own individual posts with more detail (and photos) soon...

(In no particular order:)

• I went on our 3rd annual ward RS beach retreat earlier this month and had a fantastic time!  I always love going to the beach.  And I always love a good GNO.  Put those two together and I LOVE LOVE it! lol  I will definitely post more on this later, so I'll save the details for then, but until then, the weather was beautiful, the comany was wonderful, and we had a great time!  Lots of laughs, that is for sure!!!
• It's Fall!  And a little over a week ago I took the girls to the pumpkin patch.  Ryan had to work that day, so we didn't get to have him come with us, instead my cousin, Sami came and we had a BLAST!  This will definitely be posted about soon, too, so stay tuned for lots of fun pumpkin patch photos, including petting zoo, face painting, climbing huge hay pyramids, getting lost in a muddy pumpkin patch, launching pumpkins (I got a hole in one!!!), and of course the tractor ride out to find our perfect pumpkins!  Lots of great Fall Fun right there!
• Another sign of Fall... Football!!!!  I love Football season!  Our Pats are doing pretty well so far, they fought their way to the top of the division, and it wasn't as easy as it has been in the past.  Where did these Buffalo Bills come from?!?  When did they get... GOOD??? lol 
• Also Fall Football related is... Marching Band!  We don't have anyone in band at our house, but our good friends and neighbors do!  I love going to the HS football games (even though Evergreen's football team really stinks right now) to cheer on the marching band!  And I was able to make it to one of the band competitions this year, too.  It is so neat to see them perform!  I love it!
• Playing with the Hills.  We get together with the Hills at least once a month, usually more.  And if there is a camera present, you know you'll get some crazy, fun photos!  I have a bunch I need to upload and share and all I'll say about it for now is... JUMP!

I am sure there is more, but those are some of the highlights that stood out to me.  I'm sorry I have been behind on everything.  Now that I've finished blogging Disney, and am *starting* (still have a ways to go) to get a handle on some of my other projects, I'm hoping I can become a little more consistent in the blogging department. :)

Almost Back

I've been editing pictures everyday since we got back from our trip and I still have some more to do!  But in the meantime, life is still happening.  Funny how that works.

Ryan started getting sick while he was at work on Thursday last week.  It peaked this weekend but even though some of his symptoms have improved, he's still not better.  A friend mentioned it could be bronchitis, so he's got an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow. 

This weekend was our stake conference, which was wonderful.  This coming Saturday will be a Day of Service.  Our stake will be helping to clean up Vancouver Lake.  Our stake wanted our service to be along side other groups, so we'll be working with some local leaders as well as other groups/churches.  It won't be a proselyting event, simply a day of service.  It should be kind of fun!  The weather will be cooler and there will be lunch after. :)

My aunt's stake is collecting food for a local food bank.  Last night for FHE, we (my aunts, uncle, cousins, the girls, and I) went door to door asking for donations.  And because we are blessed when we serve, we came with brooms, gardening gloves, and window cleaner in hand to perform immediate small, quick acts of service for those we talked to.  We swept walks, brushed down cobwebs, washed windows, and pulled weeds.  Every household we spoke to contributed to the food bank, and they were suprised and kind of tickled to watch us do small, simple acts of service for them in return.  It was pretty fun!

Today I'm going to the temple with some friends.  I was supposed to go with Ryan, too, but that's not going to happen.  Hopefully the doctor can give him something that will help bring some relief tomorrow.  Being sick is never fun.  And having someone in your family sick isn't fun either. :S

Kindness Begins With Me

Today, Acadia gave her very first Sacrament Meeting talk.  Knowing she would be on the Trek, she prepared early in the week, then left room to add experiences that she was sure to have along the handcart trail.  The following is the talk she gave today:

Good morning, my name is Acadia Roser and I have been asked to speak on Sister Cook’s talk in the last General Young Women Meeting called, “Remember This: Kindness Begins With Me.”

Sister Cook begins by defining the word: benevolent. She says, “Benevolent is a lovely word that we don’t hear very often. It means ‘to wish someone well.’ To be benevolent is to be kind, well meaning, and charitable. Many of you learned about the idea of benevolence when you were in Primary and committed this song to memory:

I want to be kind to ev’ryone,
For that is right, you see.
So I say to myself, Remember this:
Kindness begins with me.”

A perfect example of kindness is the story of the Good Samaritan. In the story, we know that the man was visited by three people, but only one stopped to help him. The Samaritan didn’t have to stop to help him, he could have just walked on by like the other two, but he knew the man was hurt and wounded and needed help.

This applies to us because when we see someone in need, we can choose to stop and help them. It’s not something we have to do, but showing an act of kindness can mean the world to another person. And it doesn’t have to be something big, it can be a simple, small thing; like a smile, a kind word, or as simple as sitting next to someone who is sitting alone at lunch.

President Monson said, “I plead with you to have the courage to refrain from judging and criticizing those around you, as well as the courage to make certain everyone is included and feels loved and valued.”

As you probably know, this week the youth went on the Pioneer Handcart Trek. On the first day, one of the families lost some critical pieces to one of their wheels on their handcart. They had to stop to look for the pieces. The family behind them stopped to see if they could help, and began to look, too. Pretty soon, several families were helping to look. Often when one person does something kind, others will follow their example and do the same.

On Friday, during the Trek, there was a point where we faced a big hill. After we went up and down the hill, there was a little party. At the party, there were stations where women, some from our ward even, came to wash our hair and feet. It felt so good to be pampered after such a long and challenging walk. Everyone felt grateful for those volunteers who came to serve us, and we felt refreshed and ready to continue on our journey.

In our Trek family, I noticed that everyone was willing to help one another and share the work so it lightened the load for everyone. Because everyone was willing to help one another, it brought us closer together.

Sister Cook said, “Benevolence can bring joy and unity to your home, your class, your ward, and your school... Expand your goodness to many. Old and young can be greatly blessed by your kind service.”

I know that Jesus was kind to everyone and if we want to be like Him, we need to be nice to others, even when they aren’t nice to us. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

She did a GREAT job!  So many people commented on her talk and how grown up she is getting.  Several people mentioned how she didn't even appear to be nervous.  I couldn't tell if she was, either!  But I asked her later and she said, "Heck yeah!"  She hid it well. 

I'm proud of her.  It's really scary to get up in front of a large group like that.  But she did it!  And she'll do it again. :)

Welcome to Zion!

I hadn't been asked to drive kids home from the trek since I had been asked to drive up, but I wanted to do it, so I volunteered and thankfully, they still needed drivers so I got to fill one of those spots. :)

You never know when they'll actually arrive at the stopping point, it all depends on how well they do on the trail that day.  But they were expected between 1 - 2pm, probably closer to 2, so I got there around 12:30.  I wanted to be sure to see them arrive so I could cheer them on and take pictures. 

At 1:10, we found out that they weren't even close.  It would be another 3 hours.  Time to get comfy and wait!  Note to self: next time you go pick up kids from Trek, take a book, a chair, and food.  ;)  Thankfully, the weather was beautiful and the surroundings were pleasant and the company was great!

Around 4, when we expected them, we heard back that it would be another hour.  From then on, anytime we heard anything it was always the same, "About one more hour," no matter how much time had gone by since the last time they said the same thing. lol

Finally, just before 6pm, they rolled in!!! 

You can see Cadi next to her Trek siblings in the big picture, pushing that handcart those last, final steps. They were SO glad to finally be there!!!  On the lower left, we got a picture of Cadi with her Trek Ma and Pa, a couple from Hood River in The Dalles stake.  They were so nice and Acadia loved them!  I was so grateful and got to give them a hug to thank them for taking care of my girl.  The lower right is Cadi in front of the handcart that she helped push for almost 30 miles over the last 3 days.

The kids were treated to a well deserved meal!  It was supposed to be lunch, but those tired, sore, dirty, and hungry kids were getting it as dinner instead.  Many pioneers had to learn to live on just one or two meals a day and that day, these kids did, too.  But the delicious chicken, corn, potato salads, fresh fruit, and of course pie were worth the wait and there were only smiles as the kids found a place to sit (mostly on the ground, but by then they were used to that and didn't even bat an eye at it, lol) and relaxed, visited, played, and ate with people that 3 days prior they didn't even know but now considered family.  I was able to meet one of Cadi's Trek sisters from The Dalles as they ate their meal together, sharing riddles and remembering funny stories from their journey.

Once they were fed, we loaded them and their gear up and took them home.  Before we got into the car, I gathered what youth from our ward that I could find (two cars had already left so it is not a complete photo) to get a picture:

Behind the kids is Justin Green, one of the young men who grew up in our ward, served a mission, and is now attending college at BYU but came back to spend the summer home.  He and his friends were vital in helping Trek run smoothly.  They arrived one day early to camp over with all the gear, assembled the handcarts, drove the outhouses to each stopping point, assisted in setting up/cleaning up for all gatherings/activities that took place along the trail, and helped to take down the handcarts and clean up at the end of the Celebration at the Valley.  Even though he has grown up, we still claim him and were glad he agreed to get his picture taken with the kids.  He's a good role model for them.

Several of the kids mentioned how weird it felt to be in a car again.  I offered to let them walk the 100 miles back home if they wanted, but for some reason they decided to relearn how comfortable it feels to sit in a car with shocks, cushy seats, a/c and heating, a radio, etc. lol  Since more than half of my car contained girls, I heard a lot of fun stories and participated in sharing riddles, apparently a very popular Pioneer pasttime as they all had learned several and found it a lot of fun to share.

I am so proud of Acadia for going on this Trek.  I'm so proud of her for keeping a good attitude.  All of the leaders who worked with her told me how great and positive she was.  They said she was helpful and a good friend to others.  She was brave and participated fully.  I know it was hard but I also know it was worth it.  I'm so glad that at the end, she is able to say the same thing.  :)

Faith in Every Footstep

Every year, our stake has a big activity for the youth.  This year, it is a re-enactment of the Pioneer Handcart Trek.  A 3-day journey on Mount Hood, walking approximately 30 miles while pushing huge handcarts that would carry their gear.  And doing it all in period clothing.  That means the girls are all in full length skirts and button up shirts, they are also wearing bonnets and aprons.  They do all get to wear modern, well-worn footwear.  :)  They would be divided into families consisting of a Ma and Pa and about 10 - 11 kids.  There would be about 5 families to a company and a total of 5 companies in the whole group.  About 300 youth from 2 different stakes are participating.

They have been preparing for months and turned in their gear on Tuesday.  They were limited to one 5 gallon bucket filled with limited necessary supplies (an extra pair of shoes, toothbrush/paste, hairbrush, sunscreen, chapstick, bandaids, moleskin, gloves, poncho, hoodie, socks, underwear, a small flashlight, and a Book of Mormon) and one pillowcase filled with sleeping bag, tarp, blanket, and sweats to sleep in.  They will sleep on the ground with only a tarp to cover them in their sleeping bag, even if it rains.  They will prepare their meals as a family using a cooking gear their Ma and Pa brought.  Along the way they will have tough hills to climb and streams to cross, all while pushing their handcarts.  Also along the way they will have devotionals, fireside chats, and music.  It will be a very challenging, but also a very rewarding experience.

Yesterday morning I dropped Acadia off at the church and then I drove 2 sets of Ma's and Pa's up to the starting point.  We know that Acadia is the only youth in our ward in her company, so there is no chance of having someone one else in our ward in her family.  Except that both of the sets of Ma's and Pa's from our ward are in her company and that gives her a 40% chance of having one of them as her Ma and Pa.  The families within the same company primarily stay together.  They have to have room between them on the trail, but when they stop to eat and sleep, the are together, and my friends, the Ma's and Pa's from our ward, all promised to watch after her for me.  :)

Right before I left to take the Ma's and Pa's, we did find out that a friend of ours from another ward in our stake will be in Cadi's company, too, so there is a chance that she will be in her family.  That would be really nice, especially if Cadi doesn't get a Ma and Pa from our ward.  But no matter who she is with, I know she will build strong and loving relationships.  They will be forced to work together and rely on one another.  I know it will be a great experience for her and all the other youth.

Pictured:  Cadi with her gear before turning it in on Tuesday.  Then pictures from when we dropped her off at the building yesterday morning.  Finally, a picture of the Ma's and Pa's from my ward when I dropped them off at the starting point. 

I've volunteered to pick kids up on Saturday, so I'll be able to meet them at the end of their trail and "welcome them to the valley"!  I am looking forward to it!!!

New Calling

Yesterday I received a new calling at church.  In the LDS church, there is no paid ministry, so the members each accept different responsibilities to share the work and learn and grow through different opportunities.  These responsibilities/jobs are called "callings" and they can last for any length of time.  You don't campaign or even ask for a calling, it is something that the Bishop and other leaders pray about and carefully ponder who the Lord would like to serve in that capacity at that time.  Once they receive the name, they extend the call and ask if you'd be willing to do it.  You can say yes or no, it is completly optional.  When you are "released" from a calling, it isn't an indication of poor execution or anything negative, it is simply time to do something else.  As we serve in our callings, we are often asked to do things we haven't done before, so it's a great opportunity to learn and grow in different ways.  It helps us meet new people and develop relationships we might not have developed otherwise.  We are blessed spiritually and often in other ways as well.  It is a great blessing to be able to contribute and be a part of the Lord's work.

But back to my new calling.  I've known this one was coming.  No one told me, just whisperings of the spirit, but I knew that this would be my next calling even before I was released as Relief Society president.  And I knew when, too.  Not the day exactly, but I knew who I was replacing and for what reason.

Lyndel Wilkinson (one of my first Mia Maids when I served as the Mia Maid counselor in YW many years ago) had put her papers in to serve a mission.  She hadn't received her call yet, but I knew that when she did, I would fill her spot as Gospel Doctrine teacher.

Gospel Doctrine is a Sunday School class and it is pure scripture study.  We really dive in, study it out, discuss what it means and how it applies to us.  We seek to understand the doctrine of Christ's church so we can better live it.  And we do this weekly in a Sunday School setting.  This year, we are studying the New Testament and my first lesson will be in two weeks.  My topic is AWESOME!  It will be "He Is Not Here, For He is Risen" - can you think of a more positive, hope filled topic?  I can't. 

Teaching Gospel Doctrine is very intimidating.  We have a great group of scriptorians in our ward and now I'll have to teach and lead the discussions as we study the scriptures!  But I am actually excited and looking forward to it!  I am amazed at how true that statement is. 

Four years ago, I knew I was being prepared for a big change in my calling.  I had been serving in the Young Women presidency for a few years and I loved it.  But I knew my time was almost over, even though I didn't want it to be.  After some time, I came to grips with that thought, but I still felt the preparations.  Why was it taking so long?  What on earth did I need to have SO MUCH preparation for?  I began to think of the scariest calling I could get. 

Gospel Doctrine teacher. 

That had to be it!  There was nothing else I could fathom even being considered for that would be so scary and require so much preparation.  So, when I sat in Bishop Green's office, I was prepared to accept that call.  But he said something else - Relief Society president.  I thought it was a joke.  I laughed!  But he didn't, and he wasn't joking.  I instantly was wishing it was Gospel Doctrine teacher! lol  I was sure that was what I had been being prepared for.

Well, it turns out, in a round about way, I was!

My time serving as Relief Society president was challenging, rewarding, wonderful, and sometimes terrifying, but over all, a huge and remarkable blessing in my life.  I learned and grew so much and I don't want to stop learning and growing.  I knew I would be given a rest after being released from RS, and I really needed it.  I was exhausted!  I spent my first week just sleeping - like a lot!  I was sleeping as much as I do when I'm pregnant!  lol  I didn't realize how exhausting it had been until the mantle had been taken from me and I had time to sit without responsibilities and ponder on my experiences. 

I have been grateful for this rest.  But in the last few weeks, especially since I knew what was waiting for me, and especially knowing exactly when Lyndel would be leaving for the MTC, I have felt very anxious.  I had been given a smaller calling just a few weeks after my RS release, but it isn't heavy, busy, or challenging and most of all, I knew it wasn't all that the Lord wanted me to do.  So I've just been waiting, hoping, anxious, and excited to get going on this.  I've pondered what it means, what it will require, what I hope to gain, and what I hope I can bring to our Sunday School discussions.

I am still intimidated when I think about some of it.  But more than that, I feel a love for the scriptures, a strong testimony that burns within my heart, a desire to serve, a desire to learn and grow, a desire to be faithful and obedient.  And even though I don't know as much as many who will be sitting in the classroom, I have a testimony of personal revelation to help me be prepared enough to begin and lead the discussions that will allow them to share their knowledge, experiences, and testimonies that will help to enlighten and enrich the rest of us.

The Lord knows us better than we know ourselves.  He knows when and how we need certain things done.  I didn't need to know that this would be my calling so far in advance.  But the Lord knew it would be easier for me this way.  I could have had it totally sprung on me last week and I'd be shocked, scared, and would stumble my way through the next couple of weeks trying to get the courage and confidence to teach my first lesson - but I would have done it.  And eventually, I would have gotten used to it and all would be fine.  But it was so much nicer to know 4 months ago, to get the nervous part out of the way while it was so far off that it wasn't really real yet.  It was nice to reach a point where I was just waiting and hoping for the call, wanting it, instead of dreading it. 

So if you're in my ward, please be patient with me; I am not the best teacher or anywhere near the scriptorian I hope to someday be, but I will always do my best to be prepared.  And please read the lesson ahead of time so you can help me out by being better prepared to participate in the discussions.  I am looking forward to them, and I hope you are too. :)