Acadia has been playing in her playroom. She is using her toy piano which has a microphone on it to sing songs. I overheard, "This is Acadia with a song we all know... (I think it was Jingle Bells)".
After about 20 minutes of this she told me she was trying to record herself. I told her that the piano didn't record. And I told her that I didn't have a cassette tape even if it did. But that she should keep playing just for fun. As I walked away I heard, "Alright , show's over," on the microphone.
heeheehee, She's cute!
Thursday, April 7, 2005
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
Fun Photos
We had fun at the carnival yesterday! Here are some pictures from both trips...
These first few are when Ryan and Cadi went on Monday.
Oh, that's my girl!!!
She doesn't look as excited to be holding tickets as she was when holding the money!
What's wrong, Cadi? Are you lost?!?
Ryan always teases me for taking pictures of him eating. Well I was home when HE took this picture!
The rest of these pictures are when we all went last night.
Stretch!
The night before, Ryan had riden on the whirly rides with Acadia. Afterwards he felt a little "whoosy". This time, she rode alone - neither Ryan or I were willing to take any chances!
Weee!
If you want to see more photos from the carnival, visit our Photobucket account.
Now for some pictures that were taken awhile ago, but never posted...
JuneBug?
Easter Sunday
These first few are when Ryan and Cadi went on Monday.
Oh, that's my girl!!!
She doesn't look as excited to be holding tickets as she was when holding the money!
What's wrong, Cadi? Are you lost?!?
Ryan always teases me for taking pictures of him eating. Well I was home when HE took this picture!
The rest of these pictures are when we all went last night.
Stretch!
The night before, Ryan had riden on the whirly rides with Acadia. Afterwards he felt a little "whoosy". This time, she rode alone - neither Ryan or I were willing to take any chances!
Weee!
If you want to see more photos from the carnival, visit our Photobucket account.
Now for some pictures that were taken awhile ago, but never posted...
JuneBug?
Easter Sunday
Tuesday, April 5, 2005
I'm back.
That is really how it feels right now.
Yesterday was tough and last night was LONG. Ryan was with me the whole time and I am so grateful he was. I rested alot this morning and now that I'm up, I feel much better. Between being pregnant and then the miscarriage, I have not felt like myself at all. I have not had interest in the things that I usually enjoy. I have been tired, sick, sore, etc. But now I am back. And it feels good.
Yesterday, Ryan took Acadia to a little carnival in town. I think that later today we'll all go so I can participate this time. I missed being me and I know that they missed me being me too. Time to be me again and have some fun!
Yesterday was tough and last night was LONG. Ryan was with me the whole time and I am so grateful he was. I rested alot this morning and now that I'm up, I feel much better. Between being pregnant and then the miscarriage, I have not felt like myself at all. I have not had interest in the things that I usually enjoy. I have been tired, sick, sore, etc. But now I am back. And it feels good.
Yesterday, Ryan took Acadia to a little carnival in town. I think that later today we'll all go so I can participate this time. I missed being me and I know that they missed me being me too. Time to be me again and have some fun!
Sunday, April 3, 2005
Our feast - mostly spiritual but some temporal, too.
Russell M. Nelson –
- “Now is the time to prepare to die – tomorrow may be too late.”
- We need to align our goals with God’s goals.
- “We live to die and we die to live – in another realm.”
Thomas S. Monson –
- “When God speaks and man obeys, that man will ALWAYS be right.”
Joseph B. Wirthlin –
- An unkind word can have long-lasting consequences.
- “Kindness is the essence of greatness.”
- If you criticize others, you weaken the church. If you strengthen others, you strengthen the church.
Lynn G. Robbins –
- Sacrifice is never convenient.
- Crisis doesn’t create one’s character, it reveals it.
James E. Faust –
- The home should be a place of holiness, where we prepare our children to experience the holiness of the temple.
- “Every moment of our lives should be Holiness to the Lord.” –Brigham Young
David E. Sorensen –
- “Trust in the Lord…lean not unto thy own understanding…He will direct thy paths.”
- “Faith and obedience are still the answers even when things go wrong, perhaps especially when things go wrong.”
Kathleen H. Hughes –
- “You are called to represent the savior…Your hand the same as His hand.” –Henry B. Eyring
Adhemar Damiani –
- Trials are opportunities for our growth – to prepare us to receive God’s glory.
- Ask ourselves, “What does the Lord want me to do in this situation?”
- Jesus Christ has power to give us rest from pain and suffering.
Stephen B. Oveson –
- This life is good but the next one is better.
David A. Bednar –
- 1 NE 1:20 “…the tender mercies of the Lord…” – are real.
- His timing helps us to discern and acknowledge them.
- Psalms 145:9 “The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley –
- All mankind is our neighbor and we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.
- Make a habit of attending the temple – it crowds out evil and strengthens family and marriage.
- Be faithful to the commandments of the Lord and He will shower blessings upon you.
Earlier this week, one of Acadia's friends went to the hospital for an operation. Thankfully, she is doing well. She is still in the hospital and will probably come home tomorrow. I had explained to Cadi that her friend was sick and the doctors were going to make her better. Then the older brother shared with everyone on the bus how the doctors had cut open his little sister's stomach and she was in so much pain she cried all day long. Leave it to a boy...
Friday after school, Cadi and I went to the dollar store and picked out: a stuffed animal, coloring book, glitter cryaons, bubbles, a "Get Well Soon" helium balloon, and a card. We went to the hospital to visit her and bring her these gifts. Partly to be a good friend and let her know we were thinking of her, and partly to ease Acadia's worries that her friend was in trouble and pain.
Tonight we are taking the family dinner. I had committed to it awhile ago (the operation had been scheduled weeks in advance, and our compassionate service committee quickly aligned dinners and sitters for the family). Thanks to Mom's advice months ago for a easy, yummy recipe, I'm making chicken in a pot. It smells so good! I think we will all take the meal over to say "Hi".
I think having this experience at such a young age will be beneficial to Acadia. I hope she is learning compassion and how to be a good friend. I know she is. She has made several comments regarding her friend - concern for her, missing her, thinking about her, etc.
No Heartbeat
That pretty much says it all.
Disclaimer: I debated on whether to post about this at all. It is going to be a pretty personal post – and a long one too. But this is my life and there’s no getting around it.
First a brief history for those of my blogging friends that I haven’t known for too long.
My wonderful husband and I have been married for 8 ½ years. We have a beautiful, healthy little girl who turns 6 this June. My pregnancy with her was fairly normal and healthy. I was very sick for the first 4-5 months but this was normal. I loved her from the moment I found out I was pregnant and even wrote her letters regularly, which I have kept to share with her later.
Fast forward two years: I learned I was pregnant again. From the start, this pregnancy was the complete opposite of my first. I was never sick AT ALL! All I remember was feeling EXHAUSTED all the time! That, and that I felt nothing for my unborn child. I agonized over this. Why couldn’t I love it? Why couldn’t I get excited about it? This was answered when I went in for my first doctor’s visit around 10 weeks. It was a miscarriage. At first I was shocked and extremely sad. Then I felt guilt. Soon I realized (through the help of a Priesthood Blessing) that this was the right thing. There was a reason and purpose for it. The Lord had a plan for our family, and this was part of the plan.
That was three years ago. Then just a couple of months ago, I realized I was pregnant again. I wasn’t very surprised when the test was positive, but when I told Ryan I think he just about fell off his feet! He was shocked! We were both cautiously optimistic. After the last miscarriage, we had decided not to reveal any more pregnancies until after hearing a heartbeat and we recommitted to this right away.
It was only about a week or so later that I began to feel sick. For me this was a little bit of a relief. But also a relief was that while I was feeling quite sick, it wasn’t nearly as severe and I never even threw up once! (Though I came close several times.) About the same time as the sickness set in, Ryan and I both felt more positive about the outcome of the pregnancy. We felt we had received confirmation that it would be normal. We started to get excited. We even gave in and broke our own rule by telling our best friends here that we were expecting. This proved to be a good move as we see them and talk to them quite often and 1) it would have been hard to hide it, and 2) they were very helpful while I felt sick. I also confided in a friend of ours that I knew didn’t have contact with anyone else we know. It helped to have people we could talk to without worrying about letting anything slip.
But after a couple more weeks I began to suspect something might not be right. I was a little concerned because while I felt quite sick and sore, I also felt very tired. Yes, I know that is very normal. But with my history, the exhaustion worried me. Even worse, I felt no connection to this child either. I told myself it was a defense mechanism. That subconsciously I was protecting myself from getting emotionally invested until after I heard the heart beat. And once I heard it, everything would change. I tried not to worry, but it was hard not to wonder.
About 2 weeks ago I started to feel small cramps. I do not ever recall cramping during my previous miscarriage, but then I was not expecting or looking for signs of a miscarriage at all then. These were very small. And to be honest, I wasn’t positive it was that kind of cramp. I thought maybe they could be gas cramps. Then 1 week ago I saw my first sign of spotting. This was not good. Spotting can be found in normal pregnancies, but when I had my miscarriage before, the first sign of it I had was when I began spotting at 10 weeks. Still, I held out hope. After all, it was just the smallest amount, and it did not necessarily mean anything was wrong.
A few days later I had the beginnings of a migraine. I go through an estrogen withdraw every month. And when I woke up from my DNC following the miscarriage before, my head was SCREAMING at me for the sudden estrogen withdraw it had just gone through. Again, I told myself that 1) I had a cold, it could be congestion and a sinus headache, and 2) the nurse had told me that women who have migraines during their “cycle” are more common to experience them during pregnancy. It could still be normal.
The last week or so has been nothing but a daze. I was uncomfortable, worried, trying not to be worried, still trying to pretend I wasn’t pregnant when around everyone else, and all I could think of was Thursday morning when I would find out for sure. I felt like I was in limbo. I couldn’t go forward in any direction and it was very difficult trying to be patient.
Thursday morning, at 10 weeks, 6 days I went in to see the doctor. I told her my concerns and expressed how anxious I was to hear a heartbeat so I could know how to move forward. My doctor is wonderful. She is kind, patient, and honest. She talked with me the entire time and shared everything she found as she came across it. But in the end, she didn’t find much at all. The ultrasound showed the beginnings of a pregnancy, but not an 11 week old one. We did one final test that confirmed I had miscarried again.
Since then, my migraine has peaked and is getting easier to handle now. I made the decision not to have another DNC. And now my body has begun the unpleasant process of ridding itself of the remains. I am hoping that things move along quickly. Ryan was originally scheduled to work OT on Monday and Tuesday, but quickly made other arrangements so he could be with me. I expect it to be a pretty intense few days, but with Ryan here and some good drugs I am sure I will be alright.
I learned a lot from my last miscarriage and I know there was a definite purpose for it. I don’t know yet the reason for this miscarriage, but I have faith in a Heavenly Father who loves me. I know that I can trust Him and His plan for me and my family. It doesn’t make this easy to go through, but it does make it easier.
I have been blessed with a couple of very good friends who have been quick to respond and show they care for me. Their support has been very comforting and I believe it has made our friendships stronger.
I have especially been blessed with a kind and gentle husband. He had been so patient and understanding of my condition while I was sick during the pregnancy. He catered to my needs, took care of the family needs, while still seeing to his responsibilities as a provider for our family and his calling in church. The past few days he has been even more loving and generous in his actions. Even though this is a loss for him as well, he has focused all his attention on me and helping me through this.
***********************************************************
I wrote the above post earlier this morning. We have just finished watching the final session of General Conference and I have a few more thoughts.
As counseled by a good friend, I have watched General Conference this weekend with the purpose of listening for whisperings of the spirit. Many of the talks touched me. And the music was beautiful and inspired, I was touched my several of the songs as well.
Because of this weekend’s conference and the programs shown between sessions, I have found some meaning to this experience. I believe that the Lord has spoken to my heart and I know what direction we are to go now. I feel impressed that while we have not received the blessing we were expecting, we now have the opportunity to participate in an even greater blessing. At the moment I first realized this, I became overwhelmed by the feeling of peace.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and He teaches us line upon line, precept upon precept. We are given trials to test us. And often it is through these trials and enduring them faithfully that our hearts and minds are open to ideas that we would not have considered before. This trial is not over and there will more to endure, but knowing at least part of the purpose for it makes it much easier to bear.
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Possibly now my 2nd favorite scripture.
Disclaimer: I debated on whether to post about this at all. It is going to be a pretty personal post – and a long one too. But this is my life and there’s no getting around it.
First a brief history for those of my blogging friends that I haven’t known for too long.
My wonderful husband and I have been married for 8 ½ years. We have a beautiful, healthy little girl who turns 6 this June. My pregnancy with her was fairly normal and healthy. I was very sick for the first 4-5 months but this was normal. I loved her from the moment I found out I was pregnant and even wrote her letters regularly, which I have kept to share with her later.
Fast forward two years: I learned I was pregnant again. From the start, this pregnancy was the complete opposite of my first. I was never sick AT ALL! All I remember was feeling EXHAUSTED all the time! That, and that I felt nothing for my unborn child. I agonized over this. Why couldn’t I love it? Why couldn’t I get excited about it? This was answered when I went in for my first doctor’s visit around 10 weeks. It was a miscarriage. At first I was shocked and extremely sad. Then I felt guilt. Soon I realized (through the help of a Priesthood Blessing) that this was the right thing. There was a reason and purpose for it. The Lord had a plan for our family, and this was part of the plan.
That was three years ago. Then just a couple of months ago, I realized I was pregnant again. I wasn’t very surprised when the test was positive, but when I told Ryan I think he just about fell off his feet! He was shocked! We were both cautiously optimistic. After the last miscarriage, we had decided not to reveal any more pregnancies until after hearing a heartbeat and we recommitted to this right away.
It was only about a week or so later that I began to feel sick. For me this was a little bit of a relief. But also a relief was that while I was feeling quite sick, it wasn’t nearly as severe and I never even threw up once! (Though I came close several times.) About the same time as the sickness set in, Ryan and I both felt more positive about the outcome of the pregnancy. We felt we had received confirmation that it would be normal. We started to get excited. We even gave in and broke our own rule by telling our best friends here that we were expecting. This proved to be a good move as we see them and talk to them quite often and 1) it would have been hard to hide it, and 2) they were very helpful while I felt sick. I also confided in a friend of ours that I knew didn’t have contact with anyone else we know. It helped to have people we could talk to without worrying about letting anything slip.
But after a couple more weeks I began to suspect something might not be right. I was a little concerned because while I felt quite sick and sore, I also felt very tired. Yes, I know that is very normal. But with my history, the exhaustion worried me. Even worse, I felt no connection to this child either. I told myself it was a defense mechanism. That subconsciously I was protecting myself from getting emotionally invested until after I heard the heart beat. And once I heard it, everything would change. I tried not to worry, but it was hard not to wonder.
About 2 weeks ago I started to feel small cramps. I do not ever recall cramping during my previous miscarriage, but then I was not expecting or looking for signs of a miscarriage at all then. These were very small. And to be honest, I wasn’t positive it was that kind of cramp. I thought maybe they could be gas cramps. Then 1 week ago I saw my first sign of spotting. This was not good. Spotting can be found in normal pregnancies, but when I had my miscarriage before, the first sign of it I had was when I began spotting at 10 weeks. Still, I held out hope. After all, it was just the smallest amount, and it did not necessarily mean anything was wrong.
A few days later I had the beginnings of a migraine. I go through an estrogen withdraw every month. And when I woke up from my DNC following the miscarriage before, my head was SCREAMING at me for the sudden estrogen withdraw it had just gone through. Again, I told myself that 1) I had a cold, it could be congestion and a sinus headache, and 2) the nurse had told me that women who have migraines during their “cycle” are more common to experience them during pregnancy. It could still be normal.
The last week or so has been nothing but a daze. I was uncomfortable, worried, trying not to be worried, still trying to pretend I wasn’t pregnant when around everyone else, and all I could think of was Thursday morning when I would find out for sure. I felt like I was in limbo. I couldn’t go forward in any direction and it was very difficult trying to be patient.
Thursday morning, at 10 weeks, 6 days I went in to see the doctor. I told her my concerns and expressed how anxious I was to hear a heartbeat so I could know how to move forward. My doctor is wonderful. She is kind, patient, and honest. She talked with me the entire time and shared everything she found as she came across it. But in the end, she didn’t find much at all. The ultrasound showed the beginnings of a pregnancy, but not an 11 week old one. We did one final test that confirmed I had miscarried again.
Since then, my migraine has peaked and is getting easier to handle now. I made the decision not to have another DNC. And now my body has begun the unpleasant process of ridding itself of the remains. I am hoping that things move along quickly. Ryan was originally scheduled to work OT on Monday and Tuesday, but quickly made other arrangements so he could be with me. I expect it to be a pretty intense few days, but with Ryan here and some good drugs I am sure I will be alright.
I learned a lot from my last miscarriage and I know there was a definite purpose for it. I don’t know yet the reason for this miscarriage, but I have faith in a Heavenly Father who loves me. I know that I can trust Him and His plan for me and my family. It doesn’t make this easy to go through, but it does make it easier.
I have been blessed with a couple of very good friends who have been quick to respond and show they care for me. Their support has been very comforting and I believe it has made our friendships stronger.
I have especially been blessed with a kind and gentle husband. He had been so patient and understanding of my condition while I was sick during the pregnancy. He catered to my needs, took care of the family needs, while still seeing to his responsibilities as a provider for our family and his calling in church. The past few days he has been even more loving and generous in his actions. Even though this is a loss for him as well, he has focused all his attention on me and helping me through this.
***********************************************************
I wrote the above post earlier this morning. We have just finished watching the final session of General Conference and I have a few more thoughts.
As counseled by a good friend, I have watched General Conference this weekend with the purpose of listening for whisperings of the spirit. Many of the talks touched me. And the music was beautiful and inspired, I was touched my several of the songs as well.
Because of this weekend’s conference and the programs shown between sessions, I have found some meaning to this experience. I believe that the Lord has spoken to my heart and I know what direction we are to go now. I feel impressed that while we have not received the blessing we were expecting, we now have the opportunity to participate in an even greater blessing. At the moment I first realized this, I became overwhelmed by the feeling of peace.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and He teaches us line upon line, precept upon precept. We are given trials to test us. And often it is through these trials and enduring them faithfully that our hearts and minds are open to ideas that we would not have considered before. This trial is not over and there will more to endure, but knowing at least part of the purpose for it makes it much easier to bear.
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Possibly now my 2nd favorite scripture.
Friday, April 1, 2005
The end of a LONG tail.
Today Simon went under the knife and came out with a stub of a tail. For the past 18 months we have dealt with this injury and it is finally almost over. It will take about 10-14 days before the stitches are removed, and then…TADA!!! Our new life will begin. The one where we don’t have to check the floor/walls/furniture daily for splattered blood spots.
Poor guy is home now and very drugged up! But that is good, he’s quietly sleeping in a corner and hopefully tomorrow he will feel much better.
I love our new vet! The price to have the operation plus some shots he was due for and a dose of Frontline Plus, was less than half the price that we were told it would cost by other vets. It is a bit of a drive out to where they are, but they are so worth it! And hopefully we’ll only have to make annual visits for regular check ups anyways.
Beautiful
If you haven't checked out Shamu's live web cam yet, you really should. Sometimes the webcam is located in the show tank (last week I watched an entire show), but the location they are showing today is one of my favorite ones. It is a little dark in the background which makes it hard to see much more than what is right in front of the camera. But I still like it. If you don't see something right away, just give it a moment or two. The orcas are probaby just out of shot, but they often swim the perimeter and will come around soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)